I remember walking into a class one day and the professor;
a rather unorthodox man started asking students what their expectations were on
the course. One student replied, “My expectation is to learn how to conduct
proper research and be a good scientist.” This sounded like noble expectation
to me. To which the professor asked, “what if your expectation is not met?” The
student continued, “I would be very, very disappointed.” The professor paused and
said, “Just drop it. Drop that expectation then. You could be preoccupied with
your own predefined expectations and then miss out on what’s really happening here.”
The caveat from the professor was not to stand in the way of our own learning.
In this article, I want to zero in on the concept of
“command and control” that Paul Scheele, the author of “natural brilliance”
talks about.
As human beings, we have grown up with a certain
mental disposition of command and control. Using this phenomenon, we usually
predict what should happen in our lives and then subsequently try and force
circumstances to follow our predictions. In other words, we command what should
happen and how it should happen, and then we try and control circumstances in
life to make sure it happens that way. You may have come to a realisation
already that seldom life happens that way; that life has its own mind and it
usually takes its own course.
Imagine you were to ride a bicycle down an unfamiliar
hill. Beforehand, we have a meeting and try to predict everything that will
happen; what you will do first and then your next move. Then you must follow
that plan. As you start riding down, you will invariably realise that the
prediction is not emerging as initially set out. On your way down, you might
encounter a curve which wasn’t discussed in the meeting, and then you will have
to respond dynamically to this new information and situation else you might end
up crashing badly. Instead of leveraging on the emergent new information and
situation, you are out there blocking your own way with predetermined notions
of how life is supposed to unfold and trying hard control and channel
situations, alas.
We usually use this command and control strategy in
our relationships, careers, jobs and so on. To which we discover the hard way that life’s
situations are often indeterminate. The pervasive nature of life, of dynamism,
usually throws us into a state of hysteria because of this propensity. Our
adaptive capabilities are crippled, rendering us paralysed by constant change
of life and hence marginalises our ability to respond and live effectively. William
Styron describes this struggle as a sense "of being accompanied by a
second self - a wrathlike observer who, not sharing the dementia of his double
is able to watch with dispassionate curiosity as his companion struggles.”
How do we deal with the emergent nature of life? We
have to develop a “sense and respond” capability. The authors of “The power of
small wins” put it this way, “in the face of an unknown future, brave people
act. They deal with uncertainty not by trying to analyse it, or planning for
every contingency, or predicting what the outcomes will be. Instead, they act,
learn from what they find, and act again.”
A good example of “sense and respond” ability is
typified in sports such as surfing. A good surfer is the one who can leverage
on the chaotic nature of a wave, turning that potential energy into kinetic
energy to move him to where he wants to be. He doesn’t try to predict the wave
and he doesn’t try to control it. He has developed the skills of sensing and
responding to the wave.
Are you standing in your own way, in business or in
your career or in your relationships or in your studies? Do you seem not to
achieve the results you want or the performance you desire and consequently
putting a lot cognitive pressure on yourself? You can get out of your own way,
by being fully present in that which you are trying to achieve, being aware of
the new information that is unfolding, and using that information to embody the
next move that needs to be taken and then enjoy the ride.
